Oh the wisdom that is required to be a fully awakened human being.
During our past teacher training module, themed Fire, we spent a lot of time talking about the Trimurti: the cycle of creation, preservation and destruction, Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva.
Here in the west, we’ve been conditioned to view and fear destruction; whereas in the Indian culture, Shiva the destroyer is venerated over the creator and the preserver, Brahma and Vishnu.
Since our module was Fire, we were interested in the power of the fire element as an agent of destruction and transformation.
Fire happens to be the element with which I’m most comfortable. I destroy. I am most comfortable with destruction in the Trimurti cycle. Even transformation makes me uncomfortable. I prefer to destroy, quite frankly.
Simply making that statement, that I destroy, the reaction that I get in return is somewhere between shock and reassurance. Like “No, but you also create and you also sustain….” Like, “Oh don’t worry, Mira, you’re not ALL bad.” This sort of statement is colored with the view that destruction is inherently negative, that it’s inherently bad.
But I am a destroyer by nature. I am! Like everything in existence, it’s not good, it’s not bad, it just is.
Being a destroyer has allowed me to go after my truth and my freedom with in a way that frankly, I don’t often see people doing.
Being a destroyer, I have no other choice but to be courageous, fierce and wild.
Being a destroyer has brought me to a place of clear vision, my clear vision, vision that isn’t obstructed by ideas, concepts and beliefs.
The fire element has given me the energy necessary to face and illuminate the darkest corners of my existence as well as facing the dark corners of society and humanity.
My driving force, my fire, has been an inner burning to know my personal truth, free of expectations and obligations. I have wanted nothing more than to see who I really am when I look beyond what my upbringing, education and conditioning say what is good, what is bad, what I should be or not be. All of that is not me, anyway. (Well, it is and it isn’t. It’s a structure that is imposed on us, that we integrate into our experience.)
I’ve lived with this blazing fire for a long time now and I’ve finally come to a point in my life where I’ve seen and experienced enough of what this fire can do for me in the most dramatic sense. I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. I’ve pushed my own limits of discomfort far enough. I don’t need to go rebel further (at least not right now).
If it were in my cells to live as hardcore worshipper of Shiva, I would totally abandon everything, live in the forest naked, just covered in ash, grow dreadlocks and smoke a lot of weed.
But, my mission on earth is not found on that particular path.
As many of you know, I’m in full creation mode, as in creating a human being inside my body! And this is the third one to boot. This third baby, my first girl, is the one that feels like the pivoting point.
My boys clearly express that they are sick and tired of moving, tired of change, tired of destroying and having to start all over again.
This is the time of my life to create and to preserve.
And it scares the hell out of me!
The fear that I witness most of the time with people who fear destruction is the fear that I experience with preservation more than anything.
Preservation and sustaining feel stifling and suffocating to me.
But I must accept now that this is part of life. I am here on this planet to experience ALL of life. I accept the discomfort of creation and preservation so that I have direct experience of it. Before I leave this body, I will have known what it’s like to build and sustain as well as destroy.
So back to the idea that it takes great wisdom to know what to do and when.
When does one create, preserve, destroy OR transform?
How do we know that we are acting as a result of right thought, as opposed to from a place of fear or old patterns or ignorance? How can we know all this?
Well, my answer is that it’s very, very difficult to know. That we can only do our best. We have to be our own best parent. We have to know when discomfort and suffering are our friends and when they are not. We have to know when comfort and nourishment are our friends and when they are not. We have to know where we are going and why.
There are soon many things to know. So many things to be. So many things to do.
The one quality that I do proclaim to be absolutely necessary in this whole game of Shiva/Shakti that we call life on planet earth, is COURAGE.
Courage is the one thing that we can not do without.
Courage to see the truth will eventually cultivate and support wisdom.
Go for the wisdom, people. Get out of your comfort zone and take on the fullness of life. Take on the good, the bad and the ugly.
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